Life has been hectic lately. I am a graduate student and it’s the last month of term so that’s to be expected. I never looked at April on the calendar and thought it would be fun. That is not the point.
There have been a few moments where I thought I would never get through. Where you’ve been killing yourself for three days on an assignment and it doesn’t feel like it’ll ever come together. But then it does. And it’s okay. And then you can relax more. The maps are done. They’re done and they look okay. And now it all feels more manageable.
Now I can relax and watch episodes of Community and drink coffee and eat mashed potatoes and delight in the dimensions of A5 paper. I no longer feel like there is nothing but a blank unfillable space. Every day I feel like I am closer to the end.
I’m getting better at ignoring what the example looks like in comparison to what my assignment looks like. Letting go and letting it be what it is. This is the best I can do. In two years I’ll be able to crush this but right now this is all there can be.
I also feel more like writing. I have been hibernating but spring is here and it is time to come out. Monday it will be over. Then the next thing will begin.