I’ve been back in Calgary for about two weeks now, a large part of that was spent being ill and napping, but it’s still a while. Vancouver is still vivid but it’s gone now. There are definitely things I don’t miss about my old place that were driving me a touch crazy. There are also perks of rent free living (like not paying rent).
It’s weird being back here and wondering if this place really feels like home to me anymore. Before I left I felt that I knew this place. In fact I probably knew too much about this place. But it felt comfortable and nice and like it was mine. It doesn’t really feel that way anymore. I know it. I can remember where things are and it’s easy to navigate. That feeling like this is my place and I’m at home here isn’t there as much. Instead there’s annoyance at things that annoying me or just indifference. I’ve moved on.
There were times when I was in Vancouver that I missed Calgary and really wanted to be back here. The night of the provincial election I wanted to be rejoicing with my friends instead I wandered quiet streets filled with people who had no idea there was an election being held a province over. During the playoffs I wanted to party on the Red Mile making up for how young I was in 2004 (too young to enter bars or stay out late on school nights). I felt like this was my place. Now that I’m here I don’t feel it. It feels like the past tense.
Perhaps it’s that places are better in memory and when you’re far from them when momentous events are taking place. It’s easier to love a place when you miss it.