Best sentences I read this week: Vol. 6

“Or perhaps love is like a tiger. If it escapes from the zoo and starts charging at you, you must shoot it with a tranquilizer dart.”

PUTIN’S “MODERN LOVE” by ANDY BOROWITZ

“I am haunted by that choice. I rarely speak of the guilt I carry for not getting out of my car that night, as though I could have heard in her voice a warning of the future and stopped her from killing herself.”

CONFESSIONS OF A SUICIDE SURVIVOR by Amanda Lin Costa

“When he arrived there, the disheveled outdoorsman was greeted at the airport by hundreds of fans.”

Burt’s Bees Co-Founder Burt Shavitz on the Doc ‘Burt’s Buzz,’ and Losing Millions by Marlow Stern

“On top of this, it positions Quebec and its cities as closed, unfriendly places where the government takes a heavy hand when it comes to defining what and who is accepted.”

Don’t Send The Wrong Message by David Michon

“Okay, but seriously. If you’re ever considering sexy times with a guy and he tells you that he can’t wear a condom there is a 100.3% chance that he is a liar, and you should definitely not have sex with him. Don’t have sex with liars. Have sex with a cute honest people that bring you ice cream the next morning. Liars do not bring you ice cream. And if they do it’s ice cream made of lies. Ice cream made of lies is very emotionally unfulfilling. Don’t trust liars or their disease-ridden ice cream.”

Pardon My Enthusiasm

“As you can see above, Cudi performed in the most legit, magnificent looking spacesuit. It basically looked like an Iron Man, astronaut hybrid and it was pretty epic.”

15 Life Lessons I Learned At A Kid Cudi Concert by CHRISTOPHER HUDSPETH

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